I am a Survivor

Guest

> After praying and hearing God for the first time in
> a
> while... I wrote this in my journal. I am proud of
> me.
>
>
> I am a survivor. I am not a R*pe victim, I am a
> survivor of R*pe. I understand that this unfortunate
> event is not my fault.
> I must not let the devil steer me away from all the
> blessings I have received over the past few months.
> I
> must stay in the light and not get caught in the
> darkness.
> I have to keep living. If I do not choose to live I
> am
> single handedly letting my spirit die. I CANNOT DO
> THIS.
> God still loves me. He does not want to condemn me.
> God is on my side even when I am in sin. God wants
> me
> to grieve but he does not want me to wallow in
> suffering.
> Yes, I was raped but worse things could've happened
> to
> me that night too. I could've been abducted by
> strangers, I could have been raped and left to die.
> God only gives us what we can bear. So I can get
> through this. He made me able to recover from this
> tragedy.
> It is okay for me to have those days where I do fall
> short and feel anger and sadness, to feel as if it
> isn't fair... I am allowed to have those days. But
> these days of darkness are also a part of my
> creation.
> There is sunshine after this storm and every storm
> ahead. I must endure and not turn away from the
> Lord.
> If I give up and stay sheltered and angry, the devil
> wins. That's what he wants. He wants me to feel
> unworthy, he wants me to feel incapable and weak---
> I
> must find the God in me to tell him, NO YOU ARE A
> LIAR. My sad feelings are circumstance--- they are
> not
> ME. I am a strong beautiful blessed woman who loves
> God. I will conquer this mountain, that is God's
> will
> for me.
>
>
> Nicole