I am a Survivor

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 7:06 am

Well, I know I've posted in the domestic violence section on what happened when I was married but I thought I'd post here some things that happened growing up. Actually, it was from about age 12 'til I graduated high school.

My mom had re-married (which I found out just a few years ago, it was really her 4th or 5th marriage). I didn't like the man that she married from the first time that I met him; before they even married. He'd already started ordering my brother and I around. Well, after they married we moved from Arkansas to Oklahoma, which is where he lived. I was fixing to go into the 6th grade.

My step-dad was abusive verbally, emotionally, sexually and physically. There was one day that we were all supposed to be cleaning the house. I was in my room with the door closed.

I'd just taken things off of the table that was in the middle of my room, so I could dust it. Well, he came barging in with the vacuum running even though I had stuff on my floor. (the vacuum was one of the canister kinds, with the hose & attachments). I started telling him that I'd vacuum after I got stuff picked up; that I was trying to dust the table and that's why I had things on the floor. He kept on vacuuming. I tried again to tell him that I'd take care of getting my room vacuumed and at that point, he hauled and hit me square in the middle of my back with the vacuum.......the hose part with an attachment on it. Of course I started screaming from the pain and my mom came to see what was going on, as well as my brother. All that happened was a bunch of hollering back and forth. But not once did my mom stop to see if I was alright or even check my back.

Later at supper, it was all somehow brought up again and I made a comment about being in pain from being hit with the vacuum. And all my mom said was "Well, don't you think you deserved it the way you were talking back?"

Used to, I kept trying to reason with myself that I wasn't "talking back"; I'd only tried to tell him I'd take care of vacuuming. It wasn't until a few years ago that it dawned on me that regardless of if I really had been talking back or not.......I didn't deserve to be hit in the back with the vacuum cleaner!!!

I don't remember if this was the same day or not but there was one time that he pushed my brother down the stairs (we lived in a 2-story house). I left shortly after I graduated high school and came back to Arkansas!!!

Admin Joined: 25 Aug 2005 Posts: 85 Location: Australia

Hey Sing4him,

*t*

I can so unfortunately relate to this in more ways then one. I'm not in the right place to go into big explanations but i just wanted to let you know you aren't alone

- Shaz