Theresasjourney
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Survivors struggling w/mental illnesAlot of survivors have a categorized type of mental illness...
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Theresasjourney
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also for those..some survivors struggle with addictions..
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l1rider
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This is a very good point. I myself have suffered from and still fighting, PTSD, Depression (clinical), and panic disorder. This is mostly from 16 years in the strip clubs, Manager, DJ janitor, bouncer I did the job. My testimony is just a glancing look at what I saw. And I have to say I am struggling from just posting it. I just can't stop thinking about the things I lived through the things I saw and the things I did my best not to see.
Well I have to go now I am so sorry to all the people I hurt and the thought of what I should have done and didn’t really has me messed up you know. The girls that I talked into dancing and the guys I beat up for not paying for there dances or stiffing on a drink. I mean think about it a $4.75 drink and I really hurt some of them bad. God only knows what I did to the lives of the girls after I left the clubs. Don’t get me wrong I never meant to hurt them (the girls that is) but it was my job to find girls to work for the clubs. I was on drugs for most of those 16 years and the last 4 were like a living hell sober and with no way out. There are times I feel like I don't deserve what I have today. My wife my home my little dog...
The love of Christ.
Well I need to really go now I am sorry but this was unexpected, I did not mean to just unload but I did. I hope you all can forgive my past and the ugly things I did in life.
L1
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Theresasjourney
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HiI'm sorry you are feeling so much pain.... 
We all had to do things to survive..acting out from our issues was the norm also...
There is nothing to forgive you for on my part..and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has forgiven you and loves you very much...
and I pray that soon you will feel His peace that goes beyond understanding...
safe hugs for you... 
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Lina
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How well I know Depression and panic disorders. They are terrible!!
I have to take an anti depressant each day. The panic attacks are slowly ending, but every now and then .... for no reason. I have to stop and do some deep breathing!
The anti depressant tablet is good! But then, I had good reason to go into this. It was grief of losing my husband, then Mum, then Dad one after the other.
But nevertheless, they are terrible things to go through!! I used to think I was dying!
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Lina
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| l1rider wrote: | This is a very good point. I myself have suffered from and still fighting, PTSD, Depression (clinical), and panic disorder. This is mostly from 16 years in the strip clubs, Manager, DJ janitor, bouncer I did the job. My testimony is just a glancing look at what I saw. And I have to say I am struggling from just posting it. I just can't stop thinking about the things I lived through the things I saw and the things I did my best not to see.
Well I have to go now I am so sorry to all the people I hurt and the thought of what I should have done and didn’t really has me messed up you know. The girls that I talked into dancing and the guys I beat up for not paying for there dances or stiffing on a drink. I mean think about it a $4.75 drink and I really hurt some of them bad. God only knows what I did to the lives of the girls after I left the clubs. Don’t get me wrong I never meant to hurt them (the girls that is) but it was my job to find girls to work for the clubs. I was on drugs for most of those 16 years and the last 4 were like a living hell sober and with no way out. There are times I feel like I don't deserve what I have today. My wife my home my little dog...
The love of Christ.
Well I need to really go now I am sorry but this was unexpected, I did not mean to just unload but I did. I hope you all can forgive my past and the ugly things I did in life.
L1 |
Rider ... your story sort of reminds me of Paul. He was really bad before he became that magnificent Man of God!
I wonder if the memories was Paul's thorn?
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Blondie Lashes
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I love my husband!I cannot tell you how much I admire my husband, L1rider, for posting what he did. I know it is so hard for him to even think about the things he did in the strip club industry, let alone write about it for others to see! He is an amazing man with a heart of gold! He choose to ignore some of the bad things that were going on in the clubs to keep his job. I really think that he thought he had no other option. I know how much he struggled with finding a job in the "real world" after leaving the industry. His self esteem was low as he thought "who would hire a former strip club manager"...most men didn't trust him and most women despised him...
The beauty of it all is that he found God's grace and mercy through it all!!!!
I love my hubby so much and know he is my knight in shining armor!!!!! 
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Lina
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What a beautiful post to make of your husband! I can see you are both so much in love!! Your husband is a wonderful man Honey! What a beautiful couple!
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Peace in Christ
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will add later today
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Shaz
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hey all,
the only real problem i have with this forum is that we are NOT professionals able to deal with very heavy stuff ( well I'm not one yet) and i just think that we could be biting off more then we can chew.
Peace in Christ if you do add this forum please could we run it on a trial basis with a sticky that we are not mental health professionals.
Just my 2 cents
- Shaz
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Guest
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yes it will be on a trial BTW are you aware you can post stickys as a mod
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Shaz
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hehe yupyep - i learnt how to post stickies about the triggery information but since i'm not a mod of the all the forums I can't post stickies in all the forums
- Shaz
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Peace in Christ
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sorry i will increase your forums
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