I am a Survivor

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 8:16 am

Please pray that my wife and I will be reunited in the love of Jesus...after being seperated due to a very stressful living situation in our home...stemming from rebellion from her 2 boys...21 and 23.

We also have a 5 year old daughter...I am stepdad to her boys.

That she will return assured to have peace and love from me in a now peaceful home...

She fled in stress to a girlfriend in AR...whom she has known since she was 16.

I am still taking care of her...will always do anything I can to help her.

Her boys can no longer live here. After I have had to ask them to leave again...which I have had to do several times.

It is very hard for her to see them asked to leave again...for the last time by me.

Pray that she accepts that they must grow up and take care of themselves now...and not expect me to take care of them...as they do nothing I ask them to do...nor what she asks them to do.

That she will come home with our little girl to a home that is sustained in Jesus Love for us...the home we acquired for all 5 of us 5 years ago.

That she will be comfortable with me...as I give her all the time she needs...

That she will want to heal here...in our home...with me and our little girl...

That she will not feel guilty...or think she she will hurt me.

That she will be in love with me again...as she was once...

That she and I would be in love with one another again...for the rest of our lives...

That our little girl would have Mommy and Daddy together...

In Jesus name...I ask for prayer.

Max

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 5:03 pm

Your Prayers are making a difference...I love her.

Please keep us in your prayers...

Max

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 4:58 am

Keep praying for us.

She is moving to a rental with her mother and our daughter...at the end of this month...

I am not divorcing her...but I must let her go so the LORD can get her attention. She is still confused...

Please pray for her...and our family...

In JESUS Name.

Max

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 5:02 am

The rental is 100 miles away...and I will be able to see my little girl here and there...keep her in your prayers...

I have tried everything...for over 3 months in as loving a way as I could...to see if we could work this out...

Now...I must see them move out.

And let the LORD keep them...

May HIS will be done.

Max

Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 2:40 am

I helped her move to her apartment...and am paying everything for her as she gets better there...

I sense a renewed peace about this...and am faithful that it will be allright in the future...

Pray she knows of my devotion to her and our daughter...and all else in her life...that her feelings of love and comfort about me be evident again...in a way that does not make her hesitant that she will be good for me...and i for her...

That we will seek to make each other and keep each other happy again...

In JESUS name...

That HIS Holy Covenant of our marriage in HIM be all it can be...

Thank you for your parayers...as I stand in faith...and am fiercely in prayer to take back what the enemy has stolen...

Amen.

Max

Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 10:03 pm

The LORD touched me to seek a therapist for my wife there where she lives...and she has begun to see him...likes him...and he has been annointed to help her see what is in her way...of being all she can be.

Pray the LORD keeps me profitable enough to continue to pay for her meetings with him...and her medications...

I have expressed to him that her help should not be looked at as "fixing our marriage"...but to help her solely...

Then she will be able to decide later with GOD'S help what to do...

Know that I love her...and I will be here for her...even if she decides to go on on her own without our marriage...

LORD knows...I hope not...

I will do what HE wants...this too...anything to help her get better in HIM...

I covet...and love your prayers...

Max

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:09 pm

LORD Jesus be lifted above all things...

Pray that HE strengthens me every day to meet the needs of my family...

That my job will be more than sufficient to take care of all our needs...

Therapist...meds...and anything else I can do to help...

That for the next 2 years or so...that my wife would have peace and healing from all the damage she has suffered...before she met me in 1990...and as a result of untreated molestations when she was a child...R*pe...and impaired ability to be able to really feel in love with me or any other man...

It is not her fault...she has tried to be all she thought I needed...but these things have always been in the way...

The love she did show me when she did was real...she tried...and succeeded in making me feel whole in HIM with her...and our family.

Pray...please...that when she is able to fall in love sometime later...that she would fall in love with me...

I cherish her...and will be by her side through all this...not divorce her because she is in need of extensive therapy...that would be outrageous...I simply will not do that...unthinkable.

Pray that I am able to every day from now on...give her the emotional distance from me that she needs...to heal...yet knowing that I will be there for her...and this is OK...

That what the LORD has put together...let no man take apart...

That HIS Holy Covenant of Marriage BE the protection she needs...and a source of cover during her healing...in JESUS HOLY ALMIGHTY NAME.

That our little girl not sense that anything is wrong between us...so wrong that she is losing either me or her mom...

LORD Jesus...I praise you for your MIGHTY WORKS...watch over us...and I trust in YOU...that your will be done...not mine...

I need comfort during this...LORD...let me stay strong in YOUR HOLY SPIRIT...stay filled with your love...strength and purpose...

Amen...

Max

Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:17 pm

I am grateful for your prayers...

The LORD Bless You and KEEP YOU.

Max

Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 1:48 am

Yes...!

The LORD is BLESSING our lives in new and uplifting ways...

She is getting BETTER and BETTER,,,and I am so GLAD... Smile

I covet your prayers...please keep praying for HER...us...

In JESUS Love,

Max

Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 7:14 am

This is my last post here.

There is no longer anything left for me to do than divorce her.

Nothing.

Max

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 2:13 am

It has been truly helpful to me to ask for prayers here...and to write about this situation...to express my love and hopes...

My last post was after one of many conversations with her since she left me...

Pray that she is not capable of destroying our friendship too...

She does not mean to hurt me with her actions...but does not seem to care anymore if she does...

Pray the LORD watch over her and our family as I go away for who knows how long...and provide for her and Angella...from the road where I work...

I am an interstate transportation owner/operator...a career I chose to be away from my home to recover from being "home"...

And yet be able to provide as I hoped things would get better...and we could enjoy living together...for each others' needs...

Didn't happen.

Please pray the LORD watch over us...as our situation is very tragic.

She seems to have no love for me at all...
Says she was never in love with me.
Is not in love with me now.
Let me take care of her and her sons for 16 years...and help her mom with all a husband should in my opinion do...

I do not hold her responsible for what she was unknowingly still suffering from her past...that adversely affected our togetherness.

She has been as honest as she can be about why she left me...and I am grateful for that.

I became someone that was not good for her emotional needs too...I never intended to...

Pray the LORD direct MY steps from here...
And that HE BLESS her and KEEP HER safe in HIS love...

In JESUS Name,

Max

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 2:09 am

I am now moving from our home...that no longer has anything to do with a family sanctuary....that I had hoped for so long it would.

With me are "our" youngest son and his girlfriend...I am taking them with me to a rental somewhere...in the vicinity...only because of my work.

And I insist on seeing my little daughter as often as I can...so I won't move very far away...within 100 miles...

The LORD did a work on me...I see many things now about this...

I thank you for your prayers...

It is hard to ask for prayers for our family...as it seems to have been torn apart...by her leaving and those who have chosen her cause over ours and for that matter mine...

I now see who is who in a brand new way...and as for me...I will follow GOD'S LAW...no matter what anyone else "thinks" is best...to suit themselves first...

They will have their reward.

From here...I will take care of my little girl only...and no longer provide for her mom...the LORD has relieved me of this obligation.

I seek only to remain friends as far as possible with those still in the circle of things...but the circle is getting wider...connections are being severed...and the weeds in my life are being pulled by the root.

Thank You JESUS.

I am wiser...and look back on what I have tried to do the last 16-17 years...to the best of my knowledge with love and concern for all my family's needs...

Now left to myself pretty much...with almost no more emotional support from people I have counted on to care...I am walking with a new purpose.

Pray for my recovery...and that I stay in the LORD'S direction every day...and not relapse to hopes of any kind that are irrelevant...and born out of loving hope...

I trust the LORD gives me what I can handle with HIM...so as hard as this is to carry on with...I will walk in Faith...and not let my sorrows, emotions, loving hopes, deep concerns for my daughter's well being and education...my wife's coldness towards me...her friends' coldness...who were once our friends and sisters and brothers in Christ...get the better of me so it slows me down from doing what I MUST DO from here now...

LORD give me strength...and Joy...and Peace...

I will not be offended...nor will I offend anyone.

BUT...as for me and my house...we will serve the LORD.

We are still married...and she has not specifically asked for a divorce...only her mother and older lady friend assume this is needed...

Against GOD'S WILL of course...

But they would prefer her to be a "single" mom...as they both are already...one with 5-6 marriages behind her...

They have had problems with the men they were with...so it is OK to invalidate men's needs...in fact...they enjoy the fact that I miss her...and can't seem to connect with her anymore...

Pray for the LORD to continue to BLESS us who are left behind to move on from here...and BLESS those who left us here...

That the road is clear...all confusion stops...and reconciliation is the best to seek to do sometime later...when the necessary lessons have been learned..."outside" the Holy Covenant Cover a Marriage in the LORD provides...

She is totally without that now...leaving it behind.

Pray for my "our" little girl...that the LORD watch over her...

Pray the LORD will open her mom's eyes...

And return her to her husband who truly loves her...and will care for her...and the two of us stay one...

She is in danger...right now...doing what she is doing.
But...she will listen to nothing I recommend...following her own agenda supported by others outside GOD'S LAW too...

It can be worked out...it can...if mutually desired...

Peace until then...

In JESUS Name...

Max

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 12:23 am

Let it go ...

For Those Who Need To Know This:

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into
staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for
us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ..

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken
relationship.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ......

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so
used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing...

LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ..

LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"

During the next 60 seconds, Stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity.
(Literally it is only ONE minute!)

All you have to do is the following:

You simply say "The Lords Prayer"

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power,
and the Glory, forever.

Amen.

Next, stop and think and appreciate God's power in your life, for doing what you know is pleasing to Him.

Jesus said, If you are ashamed of me,

I will be ashamed of you before My Father"

If you are not ashamed, send this message...

only if you believe.

"Yes, I love my God. He is my fountain of Life and My Savior.

He Keeps me going day and night.

Without Him, I am no one.

But with Him, I can do everything,
"Christ is my strength."

God loves you and watches over you everyday...

***************************************************************************************************

She has walked away...
It is clear.
Her friends too...
From me.

Thank YOU JESUS.

Max

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 9:58 pm

Thank You JESUS...for loving us and protecting us as we continue our lives...

May YOU bring YOUR Face to Smile upon my wife and her loved ones...

May YOU receive all my PRAISE and WORSHIP for changing what must be changed for YOU to DWELL and LIVE in US FULLY!

Amen!...

Max

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 12:35 am

I have had to file bankruptcy...Chapter 7...

Just can not hold on any longer...and I believe I am no longer supposed to try to...

My love somehow made it impossible to really see...that I was just continuing to expect an improved marriage that is not mutually desired...

She has walked away completely...and shows me hostility...when I have showed I still care...

I need to let her go completely...and stop what I was/am doing.

Or I will not get better...only hurt again...over and over...

The home we had is now being claimed...

All debts are being discharged...

We are still married...yet I thought it best to file in my name alone.
This will be on my credit report alone.

She is now ever increasingly abandoning me...and I see she does not want to include me in her new life...her new friends...and the ones she is with from our family and then friends are assisting her in secrecy...

She doesn't love me...and hasn't for years...only I didn't see it.
I feel like I am no longer wanted by them...

Pray the LORD will continue to show me where to go from here...

So I can still show my little daughter that I love her...no matter what they are doing...as she is still living with them...

Her son Paul and I have a bond of love...he needs me...and I him.
And his girlfriend...who needs me too...

Pray the LORD shows me/us where to go from here...

Pray I will know in all areas what NOT TO DO ANYMORE!

Peace.

In JESUS NAME...

Max