I am a Survivor

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 1:55 am

I am a survivor. I am not a R*pe victim, I am a
survivor of R*pe. I understand that this unfortunate
event is not my fault.
I must not let the devil steer me away from all the
blessings I have received over the past few months. I
must stay in the light and not get caught in the
darkness.
I have to keep living. If I do not choose to live I am
single handedly letting my spirit die. I CANNOT DO
THIS.
God still loves me. He does not want to condemn me.
God is on my side even when I am in sin. God wants me
to grieve but he does not want me to wallow in
suffering.
Yes, I was raped but worse things could've happened to
me that night too. I could've been abducted by
strangers, I could have been raped and left to die.
God only gives us what we can bear. So I can get
through this. He made me able to recover from this
tragedy.
It is okay for me to have those days where I do fall
short and feel anger and sadness, to feel as if it
isn't fair... I am allowed to have those days. But
these days of darkness are also a part of my creation.
There is sunshine after this storm and every storm
ahead. I must endure and not turn away from the Lord.
If I give up and stay sheltered and angry, the devil
wins. That's what he wants. He wants me to feel
unworthy, he wants me to feel incapable and weak--- I
must find the God in me to tell him, NO YOU ARE A
LIAR. My sad feelings are circumstance--- they are not
ME. I am a strong beautiful blessed woman who loves
God. I will conquer this mountain, that is God's will
for me.

Nicole