I am a Survivor

Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 3:44 pm

I do not know how to put this but I have been married for six years and I have been involved with my partner who has been known to hit me in the passed.

What would you do? Even though he has not hit me for a while now.

I really do not know what to do.

Loving Heart Joined: 24 Aug 2005 Posts: 55

Dear SisterJenna,

We can pray for you and love you. Remember to have respect for yourself, never give in to the lie that you have made him hit you, or that you need that. Some women think that way. They are so hurt and yet still love their men, that they try to do everything to keep from being hit.

We need to know a little more about your situation, dear. Did he apologize for his action or does he blame you. When he hit you was he out of control or just cold towards you? Do you have children; if so, how do they feel about you and their father? What kind of problems does your husband have: heavy stress at work, or drink or drugs....?

Is there any relative of yours that you can talk to, and more important, is there someplace where you can go for safety. Above all, the very next time it happens, you must get away from him. Time apart may help both of you and your marriage. I know that seems like running away from the problem, but it is not if the problem is not in your control. When he hits you, the problem is out of your control and his, too.

I am only one voice here. And my thoughts may not be of help. But when you have replies, it is all of us looking for some way and offering some thoughts for you to consider carefully. You choose the best way for yourself.

Prayers and hugs,

Lastreia

Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 5:02 pm

I have no children. Sometimes he does have stress at work. He looks so so angry. When he hits me he goes for my throat. Deep down you are right we do still love them.

I cannot talk to my parents as they would say we told you so.

So much hurt in my life

One step at a time.

Loving Heart Joined: 24 Aug 2005 Posts: 55

Dearest Jenna,

If you had children, they would be hurt, perhaps for their whole lives by what is happening to you. It is hard for me to say this, but if this man takes out his work stress on you and you will not know how angry he is at any time until he attacks you. This is not about love. This is about letting him have the totally wrong kind of punching bag, which is wrong for him, as well as you.

Because he goes for your throat, when he is out of control, you are at risk for your life. Be quiet, be careful. But get away from him. If he puts you in the hospital, don't lie about what happened, you need your Ab*se on record to get the kind of protection you will need later.

Listen, your parents telling you they told you so won't kill you. This man just may. Don't ever think you can't admit a mistake, that is not pride. Pride is being strong enough to admit mistakes. Don't allow yourself to be paralyzed by doubts about yourself. You have a good life ahead of you if you take care of yourself. Care about you first, or you cannot understand what is best for others. LOVE yourself, if you don't, you will not understand what real love for others really means.

These are thoughts for you to consider. Please let me know how you can access a computer: is it one that he can get on and find out what you do online? I must know this. If he can, you must delete your online history and temporary internet files.

You are in my prayers and thoughts constantly,

Your sister in Christ,

Latreia

Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:40 pm

Dear Sister in the Lord,

Please heed all of Lateria's wise advice! Delete all and any computer files where he can trace your online history. Please contact a local Women's Resource Center, or Domestic Violence Shelter, etc. in your area. They will walk you step by step through what to do.

PLEASE, YOU MUST FIND THE COURAGE TO DO THIS!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! GOD WILL GIVE YOU THE COURAGE YOU NEED!!!

Peace and Blessings and Prayer to you my dear sis!

Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 10:56 pm

I have my own settings on the computer. Yes it does belong to him. I have created my own shortcuts to the forums and put them in a folder or I can store then as My favourites.

Arrrrgghhhhhhh

Gonna cry

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 1:05 am

Jenna, I just asked how you are doing and what made your day so bad on another thread...now I am thinking it is probably better if you don't reply. Please seek a woman's shelter in your area!!!!! Please!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Courtney

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 3:31 pm

Everything is making my day worse.

Loving Heart Joined: 24 Aug 2005 Posts: 55

Share everything with us so we know more, please.

Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 4:03 pm

As I right this I am crying do not know anymore

Hatred
Hurting
Pain
Guilty
abandoned

Job
Hatred
feel used
Just a number to then

I really am struggling

Loving Heart Joined: 24 Aug 2005 Posts: 55

By whom, sisterJenna, do those good concerned Christians who have been posting their heartfelt prayers and are terribly concerned about you know that over there? Have you ever told them why? Begging you to share.

TOO LATE

http://www.christianforums.com/f10-prayer-requests.html

Loving Heart Joined: 24 Aug 2005 Posts: 55

http://herehelp.forumsplace.com/message517.html

Everyone needs to go to this site. I have been reading there for it seems like forever. Jenna seems to have created this site to give help to those youth with serious psychological issues. The same youth who join seeking help need help themselves. The exchanges will tear at your heart, hard as they try, they have lost one to suicide and another has made a definite decision to be dead by tomorrow. So sisterJenna just brought her despair and depression to CF without giving any explanation.

Now it is posted she is in hospital, recovering from suicide attempt. These youth are in some kind of vicious and inescapable cycle of despair and failure. The majority of members seem to be in the United Kingdom. America's youth share much of the same anguish to suicide, acohol or drugs.

They struggle to reach out to each other, but they also do not seem to be able to comprehend that help, even from their peers with like experience, and can only share misery, not love or nurture.

What has made these youngsters immune to prayers or concern or support from Christians or even among themselves?

Does anyone here understand or can give some answers?

Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2005 7:52 am

I think you are right lateria. I do need to get out and go to a shelter for a while. I am seeing my doctor today to talk about my feelings etc.

Need to get out this marriage before it gets to violent.

Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:30 pm

We all love you and are praying for you! Please....please.....please....as Lateria has said get help!!! A women's shelter....seeing a counselor (sounds like you are) .....seeking help from your church....

We all just wish we were physically closer to you! We are praying for you! Be strong...make the right decisions!!!

Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2005 4:35 pm

Yes I am seeing a counsellor now and I am seeing a proper counsellor outside the church to. I am going to have a word with someone from the church on sunday and see if I can stay there for a couple of days.

Still hurting